THE BLAiR BiTCH PROJECT

SERPENTINE

2005-01-03T17:02:00.000-08:00

SERPENTINE

aftertaste of a kiss
i could not swallow

wretch.
bleed.
wretch.

lick it off my lips
say you love me.

CLOSE THE DOOR

2004-11-28T03:50:00.000-08:00

CLOSE THE DOOR

as the sun set

i left it open
hoping you
would come in
calling
for me.

the sun has risen

you have not come
i now know
it was foolish
waiting
for you.

the door is closed.

AWAKE

2004-11-10T05:34:00.000-08:00

AWAKE

i fell asleep
at the warm touch of your hand.
let me not wake
from beautiful slumber.
yet my eyes open
at the harsh taste of your lips
spell was broken
by kisses shaped from winter.

CERTAIN

2004-10-05T03:11:00.000-07:00

CERTAIN

it may not have been
fireworks
exploding, decorating
the midnight sky.
thunderclaps
surprising, terrifying
amidst the storms.
tidal waves
consuming, overwhelming
unto the shore.

but i knew
it was love.

FLING

2004-09-28T14:42:00.000-07:00

FLING

he took my hand
and said
he knew me forever
so we danced,
a dizzying swirl
of happiness
and perhaps
hope.

be still my heart
i whispered
for i knew him forever
as we danced,
to melodious chants
fond promises
and i thought
chance.

then there was nothing
but silence.
we were strangers again.

SIGHS

2004-09-27T23:52:00.000-07:00

SIGHS

all is right in the world:
sun still rises
moon takes its phases
stars continue to twinkle.

it is. it is.
after all
what can one missing person
undo in my life?

all is right in the world:
lovers of my ilk
weep for the missing
and a life that has come undone.

CLEAR AS THE SKY IS BLUE

2004-09-24T21:20:00.001-07:00

CLEAR AS THE SKY IS BLUE

storm overhead
has passed
sun is out
and the sky is blue.

such beauty
is not without price.

The Scientist

2004-09-22T13:37:00.000-07:00

The Scientist
Coldplay

Come up to meet you,
tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start

Running in circles
Coming in tales
Heads are a science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start

Running in circles
Chasing tails
And coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard

I'm going back to the start

***
in memoriam.
let it be.

LONG DRIVE WITH A BROKEN HEART

2004-09-21T00:40:00.000-07:00
LONG DRIVE WITH A BROKEN HEART

a lonely stretch of road
empty passenger seat for company
conversations with silence
and tears begin to fall.

was it only not yesterday
she wished the drive could last
forever?

but it is not so.

Question of the Day

2004-09-09T22:28:00.000-07:00
Question of The Day

are you happy?

crinkled eyes
the widest smile

of course
happiest.

i know.

BRING IT ON

2004-09-07T17:23:00.000-07:00
BRING IT ON

i am not afraid of
you who throws rocks at me
mocking me with every
bruise.
no i am not afraid.

you do not intimidate
me whom you like to shatter
over and over with your
threats.
i am not intimidated.

i know you want to
break me with all your lies
cowardice and malice
weapons.
but i do not care.

gloat and take pride
mistake my silence for defeat
provoke me into defending
myself.
be disappointed.

i will take my time
listen as your insulting cries
turn into whimpers and pleas
summons.
then you shall beg.

SUCH INSOLENCE

2004-09-06T18:30:00.000-07:00
SUCH INSOLENCE

Pierce me with your sharp gaze
go ahead
look me up
from head to toe
see anything
you like?

Utter words with your lying tongue
i await
your fallacies
the venom of deceit
coated ever so
silkily.

Caress me with your searing touch
slap me
and be consoled
think that you know me
because in truth
you don't.

TIME SPACE WARP

2004-09-06T16:46:00.000-07:00
TIME SPACE WARP

bakit kaya ganun?

simple lang
umuulan pa rin naman doon
at sumisikat din ang araw
wala namang kakaiba.

jolly chicken joy,
barcelona brandy at v-cuts,
ginisang Ma-Ling at ketchup
isang case ng SMB

wala namang bago

ayos pa rin
gusto ko pa rin matulog
at gumising bandang hapon
tapos gumawa ng wala.

gumising ng ala una,
nanood tayo ng MTV at kumain,
fried chicken at lechon paksiw
aalis na ako.

kaya naman pala

pero alam mo
kahit wala namang iniba
masmasaya at masmasarap
tayo ang magksama.

tatlong araw rin yun,
sabay sa kahit ano, nagkulitan,
nagtawanan, natulog, gumising
magkasama pa rin.

ulitin natin.

JADED MISERABLE ME

2004-09-05T21:22:00.000-07:00
JADED MISERABLE ME

jaded miserable me thinks
we are on a honeymoon
wearing rose-tinted lenses
that make us see
rainbows
sunshine
Ah, beauty of a budding romance.

jaded miserable me feels
the clock is ticking
whiling away til the moment
those lenses crack
boredom
frustration
Alas, shards of shattered illusions.

jaded miserable me fears
we will only become
memories for each other
nothing but mere
consolation
fleeting
Thus, we partake of bitter reality.

CHEESILY HAPPY

2004-09-02T21:20:00.000-07:00
CHEESILY HAPPY

It's been a long time
since I woke up
with a smile
on my face.

I could not even recall
the last time I sang
happily off-key
in my shower.

Since when did I even try
saying 'god bless you'
after being cut-off
by another driver?

Really, this is so not me
I ALMOST seem happy
then I realize
I AM HAPPY.

You have made me so.

N.B. Forgive me...but this is exactly how I feel.

WAITING FOR JEREMY

2004-08-13T18:59:00.000-07:00
WAITING FOR JEREMY

you promised
to call
for me soon.

you claimed
you wanted
someone like me.

two weeks
have passed
and yet i wait.

a phonecall
a letter
i have to know.

BuM

2004-08-05T04:27:00.000-07:00
BuM

heave a sigh
stare at the ceiling
until your eyes
strain.
stifle a yawn
roll out of your bed
take time to find
slippers.
enjoy a stretch
walk to the bathroom
look at the mirror
smile.
take a shower
decide on what to wear
the day has just
begun.
let it hit you
there is nothing to do
just go back to bed
sleep.

JESTER'S NIGHTMARE

2004-07-31T14:48:00.000-07:00
JESTER'S NIGHTMARE

the lilting melody of gaiety
that escapes my lips
haunts you?

do not listen for it
i have forgotten.

here's a broken smile.

ONS

2004-07-30T09:17:00.000-07:00
ONS

mistake.
so what
let it be.
drat,
it happens
no use
denying.

(flashback:
long drive.
small car.
liplock.
misty windows.
parking lot.
guilty.)

forget.
move on
let it go.
yeah,
you know
it was
nothing.

SIDEBAR

2004-07-27T00:30:00.000-07:00
SIDEBAR

push me and then just touch me. so i can get my satisfaction.

for a while there
it was just like before

i was in your arms
your face close to mine
bodies moving as one.

yet reality has a way
of shattering illusions.

i don't love her.
i just want to do things right.
i can't say no to you.

just dance with me
it does not matter anymore.

i got something for your mind your body. drop that beat.

***
satisfaction-benni benassi, drop that beat-ixxel
sidebar anthems mga friends! kampai!

FRUSTRATION

2004-07-15T22:17:00.000-07:00
FRUSTRATION

clenched fist
banging
against the cold walls
of Loneliness.

strained voice
calling
in desperate agony
for Solace.

angry tears
falling
the futile attempt
of Comfort.

fragile heart
breaking
in silent acceptance:
Be Alone.

A QUARTER OF A CENTURY OLD AT 25.

2004-07-15T20:10:00.000-07:00
A Quarter of A Century Old at Twenty-Five

I should be a quarter of a century old.

With the air of nobility
the passage of time
And wisdom earned.
A valiant quest,
For some paragon of ambition
That should be
Myself.
Almost finished.

Yet, I have realized

impulse governs me
my wisdom shallow
Time is too slow.
All is a struggle
For but a semblance of identity
That I can claim for
Myself.
Nothing certain.

Really, I am only twenty-five years old.

To: Francesca Johnson-- Madison County, Iowa

2004-07-13T15:30:00.000-07:00
TO FRANCESCA JOHNSON--MADISON COUNTY, IOWA

Mailbox says she is not alone.
But she was that day.
Green battered pick-up
Long way from home.
Lost.
Lost in Iowa.

Photographer and his camera.
Housewife and her responsibilities.

Mailbox says she is not alone.
And she was not the next day.
Green battered pick-up
Was parked out at the back.
Stayed.
Stayed at Johnson’s Farm.

Shaman and his passion.
Virgin and her romance.

Mailbox says she is not alone.
But how she wanted to be.
Ride the green battered pick-up.
The stranger and his world.
Away.
Away to Africa.

Man found his purpose.
Woman had to make a choice.

Mailbox says she is not alone.
But in her heart she truly is.
Green battered pick up
And her shaman-stranger
Left.
Left her in Iowa.

***
"in a universe of ambiguity, this kind of certainty comes but only once, no matter how many lifetimes you live."
-- Robert Kincaid, The Bridges of Madison County

QUERIDA

2004-07-11T11:40:00.000-07:00
QUERIDA

i danced to the music
of The Borrowed
light breezy steps
let me fall into a daze
in your arms
and nothing else mattered.

For No One

2004-07-07T18:37:00.000-07:00
FOR NO ONE

Nothing.
I feel nothing.
Not even an ounce of anger.
Or a pinch of regret.
No sting of disappointment.
Nothing.

Perhaps it is such
When love has gone.

July 3, 2004

2004-07-05T19:45:00.000-07:00
JULY 3, 2004

Today was a good day.

Phonecall.
Hey you wanna hang-out?
Sure.

Spiderman.
Aww it's packed no seats.
Coffee?

UCC Podium.
Raspberry Coffee, Mango Shake.
Wow.

Conversation.
Anything and everything for hours.
Smiles.

Shabu-shabu.
The first time experience.
Delicious.

Franz.
Join me for a beer?
Great.

Goodnight.
I have to go (didn't have to).
Sigh.

Text.
I had a great time today.
Again?

Let's see each other soon.

It Hurts To Be Around You

2004-06-12T04:10:00.000-07:00
IT HURTS TO BE AROUND YOU

do i choose to be around you
when just the mere thought of you
is a reminder
of how we made each other promises
of a forever
that will not come to pass.

do i choose to be around you
when just the sound of your voice
is a desire
for me to hear you say my name
it's been a while
since i last heard you call for me.

do i choose to be around you
when the mere touch of your hand
is a yearning
for what it feels like to be held
in your arms
they will never embrace me again.

do i choose to be around you
when every moment i spend with you
is in reality
another bittersweet memory
to comfort me
for you chose not to be around me.

TXT TXT NA LANG

2004-06-05T02:20:00.000-07:00
TXT TXT N LNG

1 message received
sorry.
06.06.2004
16:42

txt bk: k lang.
sanay na e. dnt wory.
d n den kta hnahanap.

1 message received
=(
06.06.2004
16:48

txt bk:
bgay ko lng gs2 mo.

SINGLE KA NA

2004-05-27T22:41:00.000-07:00
SINGLE KA NA

hindi ko alam kung bakit
tinignan ko pa.
dapat hindi na lang.
hindi na sana kailangan
mag-sagwan sa luha

para mag-type sa keyboard ko.

McDonald's EDSA-Panay

2004-05-20T21:20:00.000-07:00
McDonald's EDSA-Panay

white seats, plastic and cold
cradle my body
as i await...
voices from
the mouths of people
fill my mind
jumbled and crowding.
i look
amidst the windows
and tiled, mopped floors.

(but) he isn't here.

a sip of diet coke,
a bite off a burger
claim victory
over my hunger
but not the starving
that longs for the presence
of someone
who is not here...

The Phonecall

2004-05-19T23:15:00.000-07:00
THE PHONECALL

it was raining...
angry skies, almost ruthless

i was drowning...
barely breathing, perhaps desperate

you were...
somewhere, too far, i don't know.

Three Words

2004-05-08T03:43:00.000-07:00
THREE WORDS

i love you...
as you walk away...
though it's not enough...
and it's too late...

i love you...
the voice in my head...
what my heart says...
you can't seem to hear...

i love you...
but you're gone...
and i am left with nothing...
now it's over.